Listen To Me: Neglecting Yourself Doesn’t Make You Worthy
Some tough love from someone who's been there, trying to please everyone but herself
This article was originally published on Medium.
You’ve been running on fumes, haven’t you? Always the one who steps up, who sacrifices sleep, sanity, and everything in between just to make sure everyone else is okay.
On a surface level, you do it because you care. You want to help, to be dependable, to make sure the people you love don’t have to face things alone. You do it because that’s who you are — the one who can always be counted on, the one who holds everything together.
But there’s a deeper reason at play…
Deep, deep down, the real reason you push yourself is because you believe that if you can just do enough, be enough, give enough, then maybe — just maybe — you’ll finally feel like you’re enough. Because you believe that being needed makes you valuable, that self-sacrifice makes you more deserving, more… Worthy.
Worthy of love. Worthy of acceptance. Worthy of all the things you so freely give to everyone else.
The thing is, the worthiness you’re searching for isn’t something you earn by putting yourself last. It’s something you already have, something that’s been yours all along.
Neglecting yourself doesn’t make you worthy. It may make you feel temporarily worthy, but it will never provide you the deep, sustainable worthiness you’re craving.
Every time you put yourself last, every time you sacrifice your own needs and say yes when what you really want to do is say no, you’re reinforcing the lie that your value is tied to how much you give away. You’re telling yourself that your happiness and well-being don’t really matter.
And that lie? It’s a trap. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of exhaustion and resentment that will never truly fulfill you.
Because the people who matter — who truly care about you — don’t need you to destroy yourself for them.
They don’t need you to wear yourself thin to prove your love. They don’t expect you to sacrifice your happiness to earn their approval. They don’t want you to put on a brave face when you’re struggling inside. They don’t require you to be the one who always fixes everything, who always says yes, who never complains.
No!
What they really want is for you to be authentic, honest, and vulnerable. They want you to show up as your true self, not some version of you that’s been worn down and shaped by everyone else’s expectations.
Those who expect you to neglect yourself, to always put their needs above your own, aren’t truly valuing you — they’re using you. They’re taking advantage of your willingness to give without considering the cost to you. These are the people who only see your worth in terms of what you can do for them, not who you are as a person.
And the truth is, no amount of self-sacrifice will ever be enough for them. They’ll keep taking as long as you keep giving, never acknowledging the weight you’re carrying.
So, let’s be honest here… Do you really want them in your life? Do you really want to be surrounded by people who are incapable of giving you the love and acceptance you seek and deserve?
Or are you so disconnected from your own inner guidance that you simply let them stay in your life, because you feel like you have no other option? Because you’ve convinced yourself that this is all you’re worth, that you have to settle for whatever scraps of validation they throw your way?
I can assure you that you deserve more than that. You deserve relationships that nourish you, that uplift you, that make you feel seen and valued for who you are — not for how much you can give or endure. But to attract those kinds of connections, you have to start by valuing yourself enough to let go of the ones that drain you.
I’m not saying it’s an easy path — it’s not, by any means. It requires facing uncomfortable truths and making tough decisions. Change takes courage, and it often feels unsettling.
But don’t you think staying in situations that deplete you, holding onto the same patterns and beliefs that keep you stuck in a cycle of giving without receiving, is far more damaging?
You know the answer.
So, take that step. Choose yourself. And watch how your life begins to shift in beautiful, unexpected ways.
You are worthy of so much more, and it’s time you start living like you know it.
Thank you for reading 🤍
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You are a lady who inspires us with your words, encourages us too e forward and grow. To appreciate and acknowledge our selfworth, with love and understanding for others.
Thank you ❤️🙏
Once again beautifully said Patricia. The amazing paradox "You are worthy of so much more, and it’s time you start living like you know it".....there lies the spiritual journey, discovering what is already there. You are a wonderful guide. Thank you.