Healing Is Not About One Big Breakthrough. It’s About Consistency
It's about gently returning home, again and again
We chase the big moments.
The breakthrough. The clarity. The moment everything makes sense.
We want the sudden weight lifted, the dramatic shift, the clean before-and-after story.
It’s not our fault—we live in a world obsessed with transformation. With glowing “after” photos and highlight reels of people finally getting it all together. So it’s easy to feel like if your healing doesn’t look like that—loud, visible, triumphant—then maybe it’s not real.
But healing doesn’t usually work like that.
More often, it unfolds in tiny, unremarkable ways. Quietly. In the background. Like scar tissue forming underneath the surface—slow, steady, barely noticeable until one day you realize the wound doesn’t hurt as much anymore.
Real healing is boring sometimes. It’s repetitive. It asks for patience, not performance. It asks for gentleness, not grand gestures. And most of all, it asks for presence.
Not the kind of presence where everything feels calm and serene—but the kind where you’re willing to be with what’s here, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s messy. Even when it’s not flattering or fun or easy to sit with.
This has been one of the biggest lessons my healing journey has taught me: that real healing looks like waking up and doing one small thing that makes you feel a little more like yourself.
Maybe that’s stretching your body, even if it’s just for a minute. Maybe it’s crying in the shower and still choosing to keep going. Or maybe it’s cooking a real meal—not because you feel motivated, but because you know you deserve to be nourished.
Whatever it is, it looks like returning to yourself, again and again, in the most ordinary moments. It looks like gently finding your way home—noticing when you’ve disconnected, and choosing to reconnect.
Because despite what we often believe, healing doesn’t come like a storm—loud, dramatic, undeniable.
Sure, sometimes there are those moments. A conversation that changes something. A realization that clicks into place. But the truth is, those moments have never been what carried me forward. What carried me were the days I showed up for myself when no one was watching. The days I kept going even when I didn’t feel ready. Or brave. Or good.
And that’s what I want to remind you of.
We don’t need to wait for a breakthrough to believe we’re healing. We don’t need the moment to be big to let it matter.
We heal when we choose to keep showing up. When we care for ourselves in ways that are small and quiet and kind.
And sometimes—ironically, tenderly—we also heal when we fully recognize that we can’t show up. When we stop demanding so much from ourselves. When we give ourselves permission to rest, to fall apart, to not be okay for a little while.
So if you’re not having a breakthrough, but you brushed your teeth today…
If you didn’t spiral as far down as you did last time…
If you breathed through something uncomfortable instead of running from it…
You’re healing.
You’re doing it.
And that counts more than you know.
Even if no one claps. Even if no one sees it.
You see it.
And that’s enough.
Thank you for reading 🫶🏼
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"If you didn’t spiral as far down as you did last time…" -- this is something I've seen, maybe no one else has, but I have and that matters. Thank you for this insight, Patricia.
GOSH I NEEDED TO HEAR EVERY WORD OF THIS TODAY! Sorry...I'm not yelling...I'm grateful for your ability to paint the picture of the experience.
And...I brushed my teeth today! So yeah...it's a good day. Thank you, Patricia.