5 Signs You’re Stuck in a Freeze State

There's nothing wrong with you - you're in survival mode

Photo by Greg Pappas on Unsplash

A few years ago, I had a realization that changed how I understood myself.

I realized the reason I was always tired and could not do the simplest tasks or take care of myself, wasn’t because I was lazy or because there was something wrong with me… It was because I was stuck in freeze mode.

My body had been protecting me from all the stress I was feeling by shutting down.

This aha moment changed my life because it allowed me to see that I wasn’t broken—I was simply reacting to overwhelming situations in the only way my body knew how. It freed me from self-judgment and opened the door to understanding my feelings better.

I believe there are many people out there who, just like me, are stuck in freeze mode and have no idea what’s happening to them. Instead, they judge themselves too harshly and carry this constant feeling that there’s something wrong with them.

That’s why I’m writing this article today—to help you identify the signs and understand what you’re experiencing.

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1. You’re exhausted and feel overwhelmed by routine tasks.

In a freeze state, tasks that used to be effortless now feel impossibly hard. Something as simple as cooking a meal or taking a shower feels like climbing a mountain.

You tell yourself, “It shouldn’t be this hard” and yet, it is. Everything feels heavy, and even the smallest actions require energy you just don’t have, leaving you drained before you’ve even started.

But here’s what I want you to know: there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not lacking willpower or motivation—your nervous system is in survival mode, and it’s conserving every bit of energy just to get through the day. It’s not that you don’t want to take care of yourself, it’s that, right now, your brain and body are struggling to find the capacity to do it.

2. You’re constantly overthinking.

You know you need to act, yet you find yourself trapped in a loop of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. You know you need to make that phone call or move your body, yet every time you think about it, your mind spirals into a whirlwind of doubts and fears.

And the worst part? You end up berating yourself for not taking action. Instead of showing yourself compassion, you add another layer of pressure, believing you should just be able to push through and get it done.

I’ve been there, and that constant mental tug-of-war is utterly draining. We find ourselves stuck, unable to move forward, completely immobilized by our own thoughts. Often, we don’t even recognize how dysfunctional our overthinking has become; it feels so familiar, so normal, that we forget there’s a different way to be.

3. You feel numb or disconnected from your emotions.

When we’re stuck in freeze, life feels muted. Colors fade, sounds soften, and emotions become elusive

You might notice yourself going through the motions of daily life while feeling utterly detached. It’s as if you’re watching a movie of your life from behind a glass wall, observing instead of participating.

To cope with this numbness, many of us turn to distractions—scrolling endlessly through social media, binge-watching TV shows, or losing ourselves in work. In more extreme cases, some people numb their pain with substances, seeking solace in alcohol or drugs to feel something, anything, other than the weight of their circumstances.

We reach for these distractions because we don’t want to confront the stress, anxiety, or heartache that comes with our reality. But this avoidance doesn’t heal—it merely prolongs the suffering.

4. Your inner critic runs wild.

Suddenly, every little thing feels like proof that we’re failing. It’s a vicious cycle: the more we judge ourselves, the more paralyzed we feel, and the deeper we sink into that inner dialogue of shame.

This was one of the toughest lessons I had to learn. I was only able to start healing my freeze response when I chose to replace judgment with understanding, recognizing that my body was freezing for a reason. It was not a random response—it was a defense mechanism, born out of stress and past experiences.

In this article, I wrote about this in more detail:

How I’ve Been Healing My Freeze Response

5. Even if you feel numb, you still experience physical symptoms of stress.

Freeze mode isn’t just a mental state—it manifests physically, too. Even if we try to numb ourselves with distractions, our bodies know exactly what’s going on. They still feel the stress we’re so desperately trying to avoid.

I remember feeling like my whole body was weighed down, drained before the day even started. Extreme bloating would appear out of nowhere, and sometimes I’d feel like my heart was racing, even when I wasn’t doing anything. No amount of TV shows or social media scrolling could drown out the stress that my body was carrying.

This is our bodies’ way of sending us signals that something’s off, that we can’t keep pretending everything is fine. The more we ignore these signs, the louder they get.

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More often than not, the freeze response kicks in when the other responses—fight, flight, and fawn—aren’t available for some reason. It’s like our bodies instinctively know that we’re facing overwhelming stress, and shutting down feels like the only option left.

Chances are, if you’re stuck in freeze, you’ve been dealing with more than you even realize or give yourself credit for. You’ve been carrying a weight for so long that it feels normal. And let me tell you something: if you want to break free from your freeze response, the first thing you need to do is give yourself that credit! You need to recognize that this pattern is there to protect you and not to harm you, no matter how inconvenient or confusing it can be.

That’s how you heal it: when you approach with curiosity and self-compassion rather than judgement and self-blame. Because judgement and self-blame only fuel the cycle.

Little by little, my tendency to freeze has been losing its power over me. It still surfaces from time to time, and that’s okay. What matters is that, when it does surface, I respond differently. Instead of letting it paralyze me and turning to distractions, I turn to the tools that regulate my nervous system and make me feel safe.

That’s what healing is all about. You just have to discover that tools that work for you—and stick to them.

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Thank you for reading 🤍

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