How I’ve Been Healing My Freeze Response
What works for me when I’m paralyzed
A few years ago, I realized that, every now and then, I’d get stuck in this weird, apathetic state where I had no desire or motivation to do anything.
When I’m in this state, it feels like my mind and body are paralyzed by some unseen force, and life keeps happening on the background while I’m stuck on pause. All I want is to distract and numb myself with mindless entertainment — mainly series, TV shows, and social media.
It took a while to recognize it for what it was: a freeze response.
This response isn’t just being lazy or unmotivated — it’s deeper than that. It’s a survival mechanism, a way our bodies cope with overwhelming stress or trauma by shutting down and help us avoid the pain or fear we’re experiencing.
The freeze response often develops when, as children, we feel completely powerless in situations we can’t fight back or escape. These situations might include facing a volatile household, experiencing bullying, or dealing with any form of abuse or neglect. Whatever it is, if the fight-or-flight options aren’t viable — perhaps because we’re too small, the threat too overwhelming, or the environment too restrictive — the body resorts to freezing.
As adults, we might find ourselves shutting down in the face of conflict or problems we have to deal with. In my case, it usually happens when something is so stressful that it triggers my feelings of powerlessness again.
I’ve spent almost two years trying to heal my freeze tendency. Some things worked, others didn’t. Here’s what has worked for me.