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Susan Shier's avatar

I cried through most of this. It hit me hard as I have felt like I lived most of my life in this space. Beautiful writing. Beautifully moving.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you so much, Susan. I’m deeply moved that this resonated with you on such a personal level. It means a lot to know my words could speak to your experience ❤️

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Mark Riley's avatar

I can definitely say the same. Writings like this are a huge help as they remind us that the space and pain are not in vein.

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Stephanie Renee's avatar

Thank you so much for posting this! I needed to read this! I have been “hanging out” in the “in-between” for a few years now…purging relationships that no longer give me peace, saying goodbye to my past and, yet, feeling like I’m not quite going anywhere and trying to figure things out from here (going forward). It is a strange place to be. Thank you for summarizing this stage of life and validating its importance. This was a godsend. 💖

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Patricia W.'s avatar

That means so much to me. Thank you Stephanie 💖

I know how uncertain and overwhelming that can feel. You're on the right path!

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Wen's avatar

Beckett Johnson also wrote about embracing the becoming…both pieces made me think about in a life time, how lucky that we can evolve to a new self…

https://open.substack.com/pub/beckettjohnson/p/grief-as-a-catalyst-embracing-the?r=s22x5&utm_medium=ios

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you for sharing this, Wen. I love the thought of evolving into new versions of ourselves over a lifetime.

I’ll definitely check out Beckett Johnson’s piece; it sounds like a beautiful complement to this conversation. Thank you for the recommendation!

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Ian Haycroft's avatar

Thank you again Patricia. You said..."It isn’t easy, and it often doesn’t happen in the neat, predictable ways we expect". Understatement 🙂 ...I think it is about 100% guaranteed that our pathway to growth and inner discovery will not be as we expect, and "neat" is not my experience of being human. I think part of the journey is learning to be OK with the "not neat" in our lives. That can be challenging, but your advice regarding simple rituals that we can make predictable for ourselves can really help. Thank you as always.💕

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you, Ian. You’re absolutely right—growth is anything but neat, and learning to embrace that “not neat” part of being human is such a big part of the journey.

It’s definitely challenging, but those little grounding rituals can bring some much-needed stability. I appreciate your reflections and thoughtful words as always 🤍

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Bea's avatar

Beautiful article thank you for sharing 🩷

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you so much ❤️ Glad my words resonated with you

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Alexander Nyx's avatar

Patricia,

Thank you for this kind, thoughtful and friendly reminder. It's sometimes too easy to get stuck in the quagmire of doubt, frustration, and at times anger when things aren't as clear cut as we expect them to be. Gut as you said, it is in giving ourselves permission and I would add, a bit of patient compassion, and through grounding rituals that remind us of who we are becoming, that this liminal space of negative emotions and thoughts are not so depressing.

Again, thank you,

AN:MC

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response, Alexander. I completely agree—adding patient compassion to the mix is such an important part of navigating those difficult spaces.

I appreciate you sharing your insights!

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handlewithcare's avatar

I needed this so badly. Gratitude

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Glad my words reached you when you needed them ❤️

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Donna Louie's avatar

Wow, thank you so much for this!! 🙏💖

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Patricia W.'s avatar

You're welcome, Donna! Glad it resonated with you 🙏💖

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Alli's avatar

Wow, this is a piece I really needed to read today. Thank you.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

So glad to know that 🫶🏼

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Lori Ashby's avatar

Wow, I really needed to hear those word right at this time. God is good. I opened this app and here it was. Thank you for sharing

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Patricia W.'s avatar

I'm so glad my words reached you when you needed them, Lori ❤️

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Larry Edge's avatar

Loved this! I enjoyed it very much.

Carrying the weight of my past is definitely weighing me down and at times is haunting me.

Grieving and transformation continuously pulling at your arms. “Do this!….No, do this!”

This paragraph really hit home with me:

When you walk away from a toxic relationship, there’s a deep sadness for the parts of you that stayed too long, for the version of you who believed love had to hurt to be real. When you break old habits, you mourn the comfort they brought, even if those habits were self-destructive. When you heal childhood wounds, you grieve the innocence lost, the child who had to grow up too fast, and the safety you never truly had.

Letting go of something that attached itself to you a lifetime ago is very hard to do. Sometimes the hurt and the pain changes who you are and you find yourself desperately trying to discover who you were and not who you are now.

My escape

Reading and writing is my happy place and my place of escape from the things that are constantly pulling at your heart.

Thank you for sharing your heart

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Larry, I can really relate to what you shared. The weight of the past can be so heavy, and it’s tough when it feels like the old wounds are always pulling at you. It’s such a process, and it’s hard to balance grieving what’s been lost while figuring out who we’re becoming.

I love that reading and writing are your escape—it can be such a healing space to work through everything.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m glad my words resonated!

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charles aylward's avatar

Get you totally Larry. The pull of the past. What a tug of war mentally. Thank you Patricia for a wonderful piece xxxx

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you Charles for your constant support ✨

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Chela 🌼's avatar

Thankyou!!

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Lucy Down's avatar

This liminal, messy space is so real. It is hard been on the bridge between these two worlds, even though you trust you are exactly where you are meant to be.

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caterina sestili's avatar

This was timely and entirely on point for me. Thank you 🙏🏼

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Melissa Lee's avatar

I needed to hear this right now. Thank you ❤️

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Leonard Scriven's avatar

I appreciate your words and insights. Thank you!

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