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Ann Bennington's avatar

I'd been slowing down for years, less and less able to do what needed to be done, and when a crisis came along, I had nothing left - I had to abandon everything but the most essential tasks to start to recover... Thank you, Patricia, for naming the pattern, acknowledging the effort of all of that - it means a lot 💛

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Ann, thank you for sharing this. I really feel that—how slowing down can feel like a necessity, not a choice, when we’ve reached our limits. I’m so glad the post helped put words to something you’ve been moving through. That kind of recovery takes courage. Sending you lots of care as you keep going 💛

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Orlando A. Rivera's avatar

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this wonderfully written post. I just read this after I finished a session with my somatic coach that reflected something similar. There are parts of me now wanting to write something poignant and beautiful here in the comments. But this is enough, I am enough—no need to perform anymore.

I am drained, tired, heartbroken, and functioning in a world that wants me to continue using my energy reserves to appease others. I will tell myself over and over that it is ok to pause, rest, and wait for the answers. I am on the right path; otherwise, these beautiful signs wouldn't present themselves.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

This moved me deeply—thank you for sharing it.

What you wrote is poignant and beautiful, because it’s real. That shift from performing to simply being is so powerful. And yes, it’s okay to pause, to rest, to not have the answers yet.

You are absolutely on the right path 💛

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sarah koch yoga's avatar

I love this! I avoid the term lazy because there is always something deeper, and this really resonates with personal experience & what I've seen with loved ones. Commenting in the hopes it will help expand reach to all who need to hear something like this today. <3

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you so much, Sarah. I feel the same—“lazy” so often masks something tender underneath, like exhaustion, fear, or grief.

I really appreciate you sharing and helping this reach others who might need it ❤️

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Vera's avatar

I’m feeling this. Extremely tired in a specific way, and I can’t carry on as easily as I used to. My focus is kind of out of whack, because deep down I wonder “is this it?” and that scares me. I hope things get better, so I can feel like I’m thriving a bit, and not just have to maintain everything all the time.

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Ann Bennington's avatar

Hi Vera, that sounds a lot like what I was experiencing for many years - I hope this isn't true for everyone, but I had to stop and relearn how to do pretty much everything in a way that recognized and respected my own needs and wants

You also mentioned focus, which makes me wonder if you might be somewhat neurodivergent, focus being a big element in ADHD and Autism

Learning I am and how I actually work, as opposed to trying to work like everyone else, has been a huge part of my healing journey as well

Whatever the case may be for you, know that there are valid reasons for everything you're feeling, and identifying what those are is pretty essential to feeling differently - may you find your way to them a better way than I did 💛

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Vera's avatar

I honestly have no clue, but I remember always struggling with struggle. I have a lot of ideas and they come at me quite fast. I can make connections faster than some people around me, but it’s hard to explain things all the time in a coherent manner.

How did you find your way through the chaos?

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Ann Bennington's avatar

Hey Vera, yeah that sounds very much like me and traits I've learned to associate with ADHD (fast thoughs that skip all over the place) and Autism (making connections, finding patterns) or both (alexithymia, having trouble or taking a long time to find the words) - both, and the anxiety that comes with them when we've been taught to second guess ourselves all our lives, are super high load and can cause exhaustion and burnout

I started by working on anxiety first because that was the thing I noticed the most besides the all-pervading fatigue - slowing down, giving myself more time and frequent breaks, not pushing myself to keep going all the time

Then when I finally identified my ADHD behaviors, started adding that in - I've been trying medications for it and recently found one that is helping a lot, but that may not be everyone's path...

Starting with finding a therapist who is neurodivergent literate can then help you figure out all the rest of the stuff - just make sure it's someone you're fully comfortable with, you don't have to settle for just an okay fit

And give yourself lots of compassion and understanding, to find what you really want and need and then work your way toward doing that instead of what the world tells you to do, even if changes take forever or sometimes seem to not be happening at all - every repetition builds the muscle of change

Hope that's not totally confusing and at least a little bit helpful 💛

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Vera's avatar

Thank you for the support. I hope one day I’ll find more suitable help to my needs. Have a lovely Monday! ❤️

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Vera, I really hear you. That kind of deep tiredness can be so disorienting, especially when it comes with questions like “is this it?” I’ve been in that space too, and it’s hard. I hope things ease soon, and that you get to feel even a glimpse of thriving—not just surviving ❤️

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Vera's avatar

Thank you, Patricia! There will always be some waves we have to ride, but eventually the wild ones will settle too. Wishing you the same.❤️

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Kay Brown's avatar

The timing of your post is impeccable. Thank you, this is what I needed to read this week after losing some momentum, but the rest and slowing down is absolutely necessary for processing so many events and instances that have irrevocably changed me (or that I'm still in the process of recovering from)

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Patricia W.'s avatar

I’m so glad it met you at the right moment, Kay. That need to slow down after big, life-shifting events is so real—and so necessary. It’s not losing momentum, it’s honoring the weight of what you’ve been carrying 💛

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Amal Shakeb's avatar

I believe I was meant to read this today, because it echoes exactly how I feel right now.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us and comforting us.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

That means so much, Amal. I’m really glad it found you at the right time—and thank you for receiving it with such openness.

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FreshWings's avatar

Thank you for seeing me. Helping me to see myself.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

That truly means so much to me. Thank you for sharing 💛

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Lazy is the word I would most like to eradicate from the English language! It may be sickness, exhaustion, grief, depression, or the nervous system stuck in a freeze response, but it is never laziness. I have written a post on this too 😀

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Absolutely! I’ll definitely check out your post on this too. It’s such an important conversation to keep amplifying.

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Rabbi Melinda Bernstein 🕊️'s avatar

For sure! Lightening up as I write ✡️

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Patricia W.'s avatar

That means a lot! 💙

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Rabbi Melinda Bernstein 🕊️'s avatar

Keep holding your light!

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Kristin L's avatar

A lovely reminder and validation. In a meditation I recently heard, "You need to rest until you're done resting and then rest more." Normalizing this is a gift.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Such a beautiful reminder, Kristin! I loved that quote. It’s so important to honor that, especially in a world that pushes us to always be “on.” Thank you for sharing this! 💛

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Miranda R Waterton's avatar

I have gone through several years of this kind of emotional breaking and remaking, and it takes its toll. I no longer have the physical energy to do the things I used to be able to do without a second thought. But I’ve learned to welcome that, because it releases the time to continue to work on my own healing and recalibration. Now the hardest work I do is resisting the values of other people.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

I hear you, Miranda. That kind of emotional transformation is deep work!

And resisting the values of others is no small feat, but it’s so important for honoring your own path 💛

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Stephanie Marie's avatar

Thank you for this 🙏

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Patricia W.'s avatar

You're welcome Stephanie 🙏

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Quinn K's avatar

“Your body holds onto it.” This really stuck with me as I’m going through a major heartbreak. It’s like my body refuses to release in hope of one more piece

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Patricia W.'s avatar

I hear you. It’s such a painful place to be. Be gentle with yourself through this—it takes time, but eventually, your body will release, even if it feels slow. Sending you so much care 💙

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SWL's avatar
May 10Edited

Lost my BFF almost 7 months ago now. I took every step of the cancer/heart problem journey with him. I keep thinking I should be feeling something better, thru it, less blah…idk I’m tired. I thought by now I’d have more energy and that I’d find interest in things I’d missed caring for him, two houses and all the things, but no. I’m just tired and let’s add the current state of affairs in the USA and I feel like I may never recover.

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Patricia W.'s avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss. That kind of grief and exhaustion takes so much longer to heal from than we expect, and it's completely normal to still feel tired and “blah” even months later. The state of the world right now definitely doesn’t make it any easier.

Be gentle with yourself—it’s okay to not be “better” yet. It’ll come in time 💙

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SWL's avatar

Thank you… just breathing hurts…

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Sandra's avatar

Thank you for your words. I really needed them today.

Trying hard to find a therapist. C-PTSD and PTSD, along with several other things. 💕

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Thank you for reading, Sandra. I'm so glad my words resonated with you.

You've got this 💙

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Sophia's avatar

This really Resonates ✨️🫨✨️

Superglad I found you #S8ULFAM ❤️

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Patricia W.'s avatar

Yay! Glad to know that 💙

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Sophia's avatar

Shared & read at 1:11 #simpatico

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Sophia's avatar

Coming out of hibernation!

=🐻>>^^☆~🦅~*!

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