No One Talks About The Middle, But It’s Where Everything Falls Into Place
Why the uncertain phases of your healing journey are actually necessary
We talk about the beginnings. We talk about the ends. But no one really talks about the middle.
The part where you wake up every day and put in the effort, but nothing seems to be moving. The part where you hustle, grind, and push, only to look around and realize you're still standing in the same place you were yesterday, or last month, or maybe even last year.
It's the part of the journey where the vision is distant, the payoff is nowhere in sight, and it feels like all your energy is going into a black hole. You want to scream because it feels like you're doing all the right things, but you're stuck. Nothing is happening. You can't see the progress.
To me, the middle feels like a waiting room where you're forced to do the work without any confirmation that it's leading to something real.
There are no clear signs of progress. There are no trophies, no applause, no markers telling you you're on the right track. Only the quiet, persistent effort, repeated day after day, with no clear sign that it will ever amount to anything.
This is where the doubts creep in. You question whether you’re good enough, whether you're doing things right, or if you're just not cut out for it. You wish you could skip ahead to the end, where things make sense, where the results show up.
I know how painful this part of the journey can be. But I’m here to tell you—it’s not as empty as it feels.
The Middle Shows Us The Way
Five years ago, I longed for a life of pure presence—one where I moved in alignment with my deepest needs and wants.
I could see it so clearly in my mind: waking up to the sound of birds instead of honking cars, breathing fresh air every morning, living at a slower, more intentional pace, surrounded by nothing but open space and greenery. It felt like peace. It felt like home. And I wanted it so badly. I needed it so badly.
But what I didn’t realize back then was that I wasn’t ready for it. Not yet.
I knew the life I wanted wouldn’t just fall into my lap. I knew it would require work, sacrifice, and lots of tough decisions. But what I didn’t expect was that I’d have to go through an entire process to actually get there—a process where I had no choice but to shed every single part of my being that wasn’t serving me anymore. A process that would force me to slowly become the version of myself that could not only build but also sustain the kind of life I so deeply craved.
Ironically, I had to spend a few more years completely immersed in the exact opposite of what I wanted—a fast-paced life driven by my ego’s demands, chasing achievements, external validation, things that looked good on paper but felt hollow in reality. I had to live inside the noise, the urgency, the pressure.
Because no matter how loud my intuition was, my ego—my survival instincts—was not ready for the changes I wanted to make. In fact, it was terrified.
At the time, I resented it. I kept thinking, This isn’t what I want. This isn’t who I am. But the raw truth is… I was unable to break free. I was in the middle: completely aware of the transformation I wanted (and doing the inner work to achieve it), but still feeling stuck and resenting life for not moving faster, not giving me the clarity or certainty I so desperately craved.
Looking back, I can see so clearly that I needed that phase. I needed to experience the dissonance firsthand—to feel the weight of a life misaligned—so that when the time finally came to leave it behind, I wouldn’t just want to. I would know I had to.
Because that’s the thing. More often than not, we have to live inside what we don’t want in order to fully know, deep in our bones, what we do want. We have to feel the discomfort, the friction, the contrast, the undeniable knowing that something isn’t right before we can gather the courage to change it.
There’s nothing like chasing external validation to fully realize that you need to source your worth from within.
There’s nothing like experiencing unhealthy, unbalanced relationships to understand, at your core, that you want genuine, supportive connections.
There’s nothing like feeling completely drained to know, with clarity, that you need to say no more often.
Whether we like it or not, it’s the contrast that gives us the clarity we need. It shows us the gaps, the areas where we’re not fully aligned. It forces us to confront what doesn't serve us, making it impossible to ignore the things that truly matter.
So, whenever we see someone who’s had a big breakthrough or who’s completely reinvented themselves and experienced tremendous healing, the truth is—they were in the middle too. They went through the discomfort, the uncertainty, the days where nothing seemed to be changing. They faced the same struggles, the same doubts, but kept going anyway.
What’s Happening When It Feels Like Nothing Is
The middle feels like nothing is happening, but that’s never actually the case. After being there more times than I can count, I can tell you without a doubt that, beneath the surface, things are shifting, aligning, and taking shape in ways you can’t yet see.
Think about the way seasons change. There’s a moment in winter when it still feels unbearably cold, but deep beneath the frozen ground, spring is already beginning. Roots are stretching. Shoots are forming. Seeds are preparing to break through.
The transformation is happening—it’s just invisible for now.
The same thing happens in the middle of your journey. Just like nature, you’re developing your roots first. You're digging deep, expanding beneath the surface, anchoring deep into the soil. You’re building strength in places no one can see, fortifying your foundation so you can rise when the time comes.
More importantly, you're learning to stand firm, even when the winds are unbearable and the ground feels uncertain. Because how else do you think trees stand so strong? How do you think they hold their ground, unshaken, even in the middle of a storm?
It’s not by chance—it’s because their roots run deep. Long before they ever reach the sky, they spend seasons growing downward, weaving into the earth, gripping onto something solid. They don’t rush the process. They don’t question whether they’re growing fast enough. They just do the work.
And that’s exactly what you’re doing.
So, believe me when I say you’re not stuck—you’re getting rooted. You’re not falling behind—you’re laying the foundation.
It’s all happening in the background, building something steady beneath you.
The middle may feel slow, frustrating, even endless, but every moment spent here is making you stronger, steadier, more unshakable. And every time you show up, even when it feels pointless, you are reinforcing something within yourself.
You may not see the progress, but that doesn’t mean it’s not unfolding. You may not see the results or feel any different, but that doesn’t mean nothing is changing. The truth is, momentum is rarely loud. Just because you can’t see or measure something doesn’t mean it’s not real.
This is where you prove to yourself that you’re not just chasing an outcome—you’re becoming the person who can sustain it. You’re slowly building new ways of being.
Because let’s be honest: anyone can show up when the finish line is in sight. But the ones who make it—the ones who last—are the ones who kept showing up when nothing was certain, when the work was thankless, when quitting would have been the easier choice.
So don’t underestimate this part of the process. The middle is shaping you in ways you can’t yet understand. And one day, when everything falls into place, you’ll look back and realize: this is where it all happened.
Thank you for reading 🤍
I hope my words have given you a little clarity, a spark of hope, or just a moment of peace.
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Digging deep and getting rooted was so true. Now I remember how long and how stuck I felt in the middle. It felt like forever but you just keep wading through the dark and hang onto no matter how small or faint of a light source. You will get there. I’m rooting for you!!!🩷
I can thoroughly relate to this article. While recovering from Anorexia, I experienced what I love to call, "The middle recovery crisis." I was completely immersed in grief and uncertainty, I even questioned the whole process of healing and establish a fresh tomorrow. I also went through that void in my mind (the void that cover the space of my mind which was one day preoccupied with my illness.) However, I can unapologetically say that that phase was the most painful yet important experience I have ever gone through while healing. I learned the lessons, I greased my emotional numbness, I discovered mindfulness, sense my mental growth and the meaning of abundance, and most importantly, I got along with faith and uncertainty.