How I Dive Into My Emotions Without Drowning Myself In Them
Sometimes, all we can do is dip our toes in slowly, and that’s okay
This article was originally published on Medium. It has been one of my most popular pieces, so I wanted to share it here with my Substack readers. I hope you find it just as insightful!
Diving into our emotions can be so difficult that, sometimes, we don’t even give ourselves permission to dip our toes in the water. The fear of what lies beneath the surface can be paralyzing, holding us back from exploring the depths of our inner world.
It’s a strange paradox — the very thing that holds the key to our healing can also become the source of our greatest distress. We tell ourselves that it’s safer to stay on the shore, where the waters are calm and predictable, rather than risk being swept away by the currents.
Anything to avoid facing the uncomfortable truths that lie within us.
I’ve been there myself. Caught between the extremes of feeling everything intensely or numbing myself completely, I often found myself standing on the edge of my emotions, afraid to take the plunge.
It was as if I didn’t know there could be a middle ground, a place where I could acknowledge my feelings without being overwhelmed by them.
In those moments, the idea of diving into my emotions felt like staring into the abyss — daunting and overwhelming. I worried that if I allowed myself to fully feel, I would be consumed by the intensity of it all. So instead, I remained on the shore, clinging to the safety of familiar ground.
But as I stood there, watching the waves crash against the shore, I realized that staying on the sidelines was not the answer.
Here’s the reality about staying on the shore: while it may offer temporary relief, it also sentences us to a perpetual state of stagnation.
I know because I’ve spent years on the shore. I’d stay there, simultaneously anxious and frozen, paralyzed by the fear of what might happen if I dared to venture into uncharted waters.
It’s no wonder why. I had been conditioned to suppress my feelings, to bury them deep down where they couldn’t hurt me. I’d numb myself with distractions — scrolling endlessly through social media, binge-watching TV shows, burying myself in work — convincing myself that if I just ignored them long enough, they would disappear on their own.
But what I failed to realize was that by denying myself the opportunity to feel, I was also denying myself the opportunity to heal.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom, when the weight of my emotions became too heavy to bear, that I finally allowed myself to let go. I allowed myself to feel the pain, the anger, the sadness, without judgment or resistance. And you know what happened? It was like a dam had burst open, unleashing a flood of pent-up emotions that had been buried for far too long.
It was messy, it was chaotic, but it was also incredibly liberating.
Now, it’s very clear to me that my most significant moments of healing and growth unfold when I finally give myself permission to dive into the depths of my emotions.
But what happens when diving in feels more like being swallowed by a tidal wave than peacefully swimming in a tranquil ocean?
What happens when we have no idea of how to stay afloat?
I have some bad news for you: more often than not, the only way to release our emotions is to fully immerse ourselves in them, to let them wash over us until we reach the other side. It can be daunting, overwhelming even, but sometimes, it’s the only way forward.
That’s why, just as we wouldn’t dive into rough waters without a life jacket, we shouldn’t dive into our emotions without a safety net.
What exactly does this safety net entail? It’s different for everyone, depending on individual needs and preferences. Whatever your preferences are, your safety net allows you to be prepared, equipping yourself with the necessary tools and support systems to navigate the depths of your inner world.
Personally, my safety net includes:
Journaling. Writing down my thoughts and feelings allows me to externalize them, to see them from a different perspective. It’s like shining a light into the murky depths of my mind, illuminating the shadows and revealing hidden truths.
Yoga. This practice has been a lifeline for my mental health. When I step onto the mat, I’m not just moving my body; I’m shedding layers of stress, tension, and emotional baggage. If I had to choose one practice to support my well-being, without a doubt, it would be yoga.
Meditation. Just a few moments of sitting in silence, focusing on my breath, can make all the difference. It brings a sense of calm and centeredness to my day. When difficult emotions arise, I’m able to navigate them with greater ease, observing them without judgment and allowing them to pass like clouds in the sky.
Gratitude. Every day, I make an effort to write down at least five things I’m grateful for. It can be as simple as the warmth of the sun outside, or the taste of a freshly brewed cup of coffee in the morning. This shifts my focus from what I lack to what I already have, creating a sense of contentment and appreciation for the present moment.
Self-compassion. Sometimes, all I need to do is recognize my emotions and do nothing about them, giving myself full permission to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed for a few days or weeks.
These habits and practices serve as my safety net — the pillars upon which I lean when I find myself navigating turbulent waters. They provide me with stability, clarity, and resilience in the face of adversity.
However, we’re all unique individuals with different needs, preferences, and circumstances. What works well for me may not work well for you, and vice versa. The key is to explore and discover what works best for you.
We’re often told that in order to truly heal, we need to dive deep into our inner world. We need to understand our patterns, feel our emotions, and confront our demons head-on.
While that’s true, what I’ve come to realize is that there’s a fine line between diving deep and drowning.
Emotions are messy. Sometimes, diving headfirst is not an option, and that’s okay. Sometimes, all we can do is dip our toes in slowly, and that’s okay. And if we need to step back and take a breath, that’s okay too.
So, let’s remember to navigate our emotions with patience and self-compassion, allowing ourselves the space to explore and grow at our own pace. Let’s focus on nurturing and strengthening our safety net, allowing it to support us through the ebbs and flows of our healing journey.
We don’t have to drown — we can learn to ride the waves, finding balance and resilience in the face of life’s storms.
Thank you for reading 🤍
In the coming weeks, I'll be exploring some of the habits, tools, and practices that help regulate our nervous systems and keep us centered in more detail and depth for my paid subscribers. If you're interested in diving deeper (and creating your own safety net!), you're still in time to enjoy my 20% discount on both monthly and annual subscriptions (it expires at the end of September).
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I have a tendency to feel like I’m drowning when traumatic feelings surface. Some of the tools you mentioned are the same ones I also use to stay afloat 🙏 Amazing article as usual. Thank you Patricia. Keep shining your beautiful light 🤍✨