How To Actually Regulate Your Nervous System

And help your body move out of survival and into ease

Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped expecting life to feel steady. We learned to live on alert because steadiness wasn’t something we could count on.

Maybe it was the constant shifting of circumstances. Maybe it was the unpredictable swings of someone’s moods, words, and actions. Or maybe we simply grew up in pure chaos, where the rules kept changing and safety was never part of the equation.

Whatever the shape, the ground beneath us was never quite solid. So, our bodies adapted. They absorbed the belief that we needed to stay on guard—always scanning our environment, always bracing for the next threat, never fully at ease.

And this is one of the truths I return to again and again: that your dysregulation isn’t random. It’s an adaptation. It’s your nervous system saying, something isn’t right. I don’t feel safe here.

Now… From here, two questions usually arise. The first one is: Okay, but if my nervous system is already wired by the past… how do I tell the difference between my conditioning and my intuition? If that’s where you’re at, I wrote a whole post about it—you can find it here.

The second question is: How do I regulate my nervous system? And the answer is: by teaching it what safety actually feels like. That’s what we’re going to unpack together today.

So if you’ve been searching and nothing has worked, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. And what follows is the hard-won clarity that finally helped me step out of survival mode.